Secret Project number Six

Hello Dear Internet,

Just to give you an update on my annoying unhealthcare situation, I finally scammed a free flu shot from my unhealthcare provider, which has allegedly been providing free flu shots for all their valued members for weeks now. I even got free parking because I noticed a very small poster in the pharmacy indicating free parking for women who get their lady-areas checked during Breast Cancer awareness month, which happens to be October, RIGHT NOW. I went to three departments before someone finally acknowledged the small poster, and gave me the validation I wanted. That said, (hurray for me) my arm aches a little, but I am ready to present this week's secret project. Worker-Woman Kanna is one of my six favorite people - it is a list that I frequently update. She has been a almost consistently regular feature on my list  since when acting as my advisor in college (very unprofessional  I might add) she encouraged me not to go to law school, and go play in Italy for a year instead, then make art. Three years later, I can say that art-planned worked out really well, as you can tell from the fact that I now have an intern who works exclusively for Mi Piace Kate Design.

Thanks Kanna. Enjoy the following, please!

Dear Followers of Kate,

I am here today to tell you about where I live.  I really like it a lot, so I probably won’t move.  But if, say, I were offered a major role in a movie co-starring, say, Zac Efron, I would need to sublet my room.  The movie would be about loss, redemption, and ultimately, hope.  So I feel like I should tell you about my apartment, in case something happens.

First of all, the apartment is across the street from a bus stop for the #26, which goes through Fremont and all the way through downtown Seattle.  Here’s the strategy: in the mornings, the bus drives around the block once before it stops at this bus stop, because it has to stop at another stop at the other end of the street.  So, when you hear the bus rumble by at 8:04am, you know you have to run outside to meet the bus at this stop at 8:06am.  Then you’ll make it to work on time.  Another strategy is to take this bus to Fremont at night, in order to have fun.  You can even have a little tipple with your friends in the apartment beforehand.

 
The second feature of this apartment is that it’s just a few steps away from a very convenient convenience store, which we call the Porn & Swords store.  This is because there is a large display of porn and swords to the right of the cash register.  This is where we go buy beer when we have friends over and we need more beer.  Say you are going to have some friends over in 30 minutes, so you don’t have time to run to the grocery store (which is actually only a quarter-mile away).  Well, run to the corner to pick up a six-pack of Wild Grape Smirnoff Ice and a bag of Doritos® Collisions® Chicken Sizzler Zesty Salsa, and you’re on your way to a party, at your apartment.  If you want it to be really fun, don’t forget to buy a sword.

Thirdly, there is a coffee shop called Lulu across the street from the Porn & Swords.  Often, there is an adorable dog standing on a bench, like so.

On weekend mornings, I like to go to Lulu to meet a neighborhood friend or two, whose names are Chicken Bone and Astro, and everyone orders the same thing (bagel with cream cheese and tomato, and coffee).  We like to read The Stranger’s “Last Days” column and sprinkle pepper on our bagels.  You’ll get into that, too, if you move to Seattle.  My boyfriend RoboCop likes to go as well, but he orders something different.  Perhaps Chicken Bone and Astro would like to be friends with you, too.

Probably the best thing about this apartment is the company it keeps.  The apartment is inhabited by my boyfriend and one other guy and me.  Their names are Falcor and RoboCop.  They are both big-time bicyclists, the racing kind.  So we usually have 8 to 10 bicycles in our apartment, which is pretty small.  If you live here, you should bring at least 4 bicycles and feel comfortable standing around in the kitchen making bicycle jokes that don’t make any sense to people like me.  You’ll also be sharing a bed with my boyfriend, who is very handsome.  He is a farmer by profession and compulsively plants things, so he has turned both the outside and inside of the apartment into a botanical garden.  Here is he is on the walkway outside our front door, watering something.

This is a big plus, because before boyfriend RoboCop started planting things, the building looked like a skeezy motel: the kind with the outside hallways and a taupeish-grayish paint job.  But now it’s like a skeezy motel with lots of beautiful plants.

Finally, the apartment is just two blocks away from Green Lake, which is utterly beautiful and so much fun.  Seriously.  You can go swimming in the lake or in the indoor pool, walk around the lake (about 3 miles around), play sports, buy a latte, rent a paddle boat, give a dollar to a busker, look at all the cute dogs, or just sit on the grass and read erotic fiction aloud.  This is a photo of a typical evening at the park, with lots of friendly neighbors running around playing sporting games.

On a clear day, you can see Mount Rainier peek over the lake.

And at the end of extra special sunny days, something like this happens:

(That could be you on that dock, sitting with your new sweetheart!) In conclusion, I would like to thank you for considering my apartment. As I said, I’m not going to move, but you’re welcome to stop by, hang your coat on a bicycle, and crack open a Wild Grape Smirnoff Ice.



Love,

Kanna, my real name